


Dinner and a Showdown

by heartsdesire456



Series: Uncle Phil [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crossover, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 23:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“What? I may be the weak little human of the group, but I’m totally the secret badass,” he joked.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Actually,” Clint spoke up. “That’s kinda funny, cause that’s pretty much Phil. I mean, he’s a serious badass,” he said, and Phil looked at him with an exasperated look. “What?! You are.”</i>
</p>
<p>6th fic to a series in which Phil is Stiles's uncle and Stiles and his friends are sneakier than Phil ever could have imagined. (Hinted M/M, eventual pairings to come)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dinner and a Showdown

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason Parallel Words by Elliot Minor popped into my head while getting this together to post. No idea why.

After a good few rounds between _Captain America_ and the twins in their combined form, everybody called it quits for the evening. The other adults joined them as they went with Phil to go upstairs to see how the others were coming along. When they got back to the floor they had first arrived on, Lydia hopped up from the couch where she was sitting and bounced over. “Ooooh my God, Allison, I just spent an afternoon in the office of one of the most powerful women in the business world! Pinch me!” she squeaked.

“Oh yeah, well Ethan and I just _fought Captain America_!” Aiden bragged and Lydia rolled her eyes.

“No you did not,” she said, and Phil cleared his throat, nodding over his shoulder. She looked up and saw Steve walking at the back of the group with the other adults and gaped. “Oh crap, that is Captain America,” she said and Stiles grinned.

“Dude, he beat the crap out of them, it was _amazing_!” he said, then sighed. “Oh if only I had that on video.”

“Pepper, is Tony done?” Clint asked, hopping over the back of the couch to settle beside her. “We want food,” he said, pouting up at her. “Phiiiiiil, can you order that stuff I like from that one place?” he called and Stiles smirked at Phil, who kept composure, even if his ears turned a little red. 

Pepper nudged Clint. “I think Dr. Banner is cooking that chicken you like for dinner. You should go help, he may need extra hands since we’ve got a bunch of teenagers to feed too.” Most of them started to protest, but Pepper was having none of it. “Nonsense, you’re growing kids, we’re not going to not feed you,” she said with the sweetest smile Stiles had seen in a long time. 

Derek cleared his throat. “Somebody offer to help,” he muttered to them all.

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Ms. Potts-“

She waved a hand. “Pepper, please.”

Stiles smiled. “Pepper, you think I could go offer a hand? Unlike most of these losers, I can actually cook. They would probably just set something on fire,” he said, and she smiled wider at his playful tone.

“That okay, Phil?” she asked, and Phil inclined his head. “Sure, Clint can take you, he’s going to help to.”

Clint frowned. “I didn’t say I was going to help-“

“You’re going to help,” Phil said simply and Clint pouted. “Now.”

Clint rolled his eyes. “Fine, but only cause you asked so nicely, Boss man,” he said, winking at Phil as he hopped up and hooked an arm around Stiles’s shoulders “C’mon, you can gossip about your uncle to me,” he said loudly, and Stiles laughed as Phil rolled his eyes before Stiles and Clint left together.

“Dude, you’re never going to get anywhere if you don’t stop flirting and actually tell the guy how you feel,” Stiles said, smirking when Clint spluttered and froze up. “Clint, I’m not stupid,” he said and Clint huffed.

“Yeah well, you ain’t subtle either, Bambi,” he said, flicking his ear. “Nobody gets that angry at a man who hasn’t hurt him before.”

Stiles frowned. “What man?”

“Tall, dark, and brooding,” Clint said and Stiles bit back an embarrassed sound. Before he was able to respond, however, they entered the kitchen. “Bruce! I come bearing a cute teenager for us to have fun with!” he announced, catching the attention of a man in a wrinkled shirt with the sleeves sloppily pushed up and hair that greatly resembled Isaac’s if he had black hair and was twenty years older.

“What? Clint, that’s just inappropriate,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Hi,” he said, fixing a nervous smile on Stiles. “You must be one of the kids Tony was talking about,” he said, holding out a hand only to stop when he saw he had batter on his fingers. “Um, sorry, I- uh.”

“It’s cool,” Stiles said, waving at him. “Keep on doing that, it’s no problem.” 

Clint gestured dramatically. “Bruce, this is Stiles, Stiles, Bruce. Stiles is Phil’s nephew.”

Bruce looked up, grinning. “I heard about the hacking incident. You and your friend are very impressive,” he said and Stiles blushed slightly.

“Eh, it was mostly Danny. I was just the instigator.” He clapped his hands. “So, cooking?”

“Yeah, sure, thanks.” Bruce gave them instructions on things to start doing and set them to it, letting them get going before he spoke again. “So no offense intended Stiles, but Clint, why did Phil bring kids here?” he asked, sounding a little uneasy. “This is not the place for children.”

Clint shrugged. “No idea. The kind of shit these kids must’ve faced going through breaking into SHIELD alone is alarming enough to think about. What does he think will happen after seeing how spies and superheroes train when we were kicking their asses in the gym? What happens if an emergency comes up and we need the Other Guy to suit up while they’re around?” he asked and Bruce paled slightly.

“This is really not the place for kids. They must be pretty terrified,” he said sadly.

Stiles cleared his throat delicately. “Actually… this isn’t much of anything,” he said honestly, catching surprised eyes. He shrugged. “How much has Phil mentioned about why I’m staying with him?”

Clint shook his head. “Not much. Something about trouble back home. I’m assuming ‘gang violence’ wasn’t really the thing?”

Stiles chuckled dryly. “I wish,” he said faintly. He looked up some, still able to stir without looking. “The whole story starts years and years ago, but the cliff notes version is that we’re all really fucked up,” he said in cold, hard honesty. 

Bruce smiled weakly. “I hate to say it, Stiles, but I’m sure you’re a little overestimating-“

“No,” Stiles said tightly, smiling a broken smile. “I mean, it’s nothing on a superhero level or anything, but we’ve all had a shitty year and that’s only the icing on the shit-cake that is each and every one of our lives. We’ve got four orphans, three of us only have one parent, one that’s adopted and is so messed up because of that that he turned into a freaking murder lizard that was controlled by the same psycho old man who tortured me and nearly turned Allison into a murderer. All of this compounded by the fact that in just this year six family members were murdered between the groups, three friends were murdered, and at least five of us were dead or death adjacent at some point and made it.” He shook his head. “Trust me, nothing that’s happened here has been traumatic when we long surpassed trauma.” He chuckled darkly at the horrified looks on the two men’s faces. “Trust me. Shit got real.”

Clint whistled. “Phil was right about you guys being stronger than we thought,” he said, and Stiles raised an eyebrow. Clint nodded. “He mentioned that you guys shouldn’t face MORE trauma, but that you could handle it if it was necessary when we started talking sparring. I guess even he underestimated how much more you guys can take.

Stiles shrugged. “Adapt or die and all that good stuff,” he said, and Bruce smiled.

“Truer words,” he mumbled softly, though his smile appeared to be genuine.

~

Stiles couldn’t escape how surreal it was that he was sitting beside his uncle, the super spy, at a dining table that was currently occupied by superheroes, spies, werewolves, and humans of impressive skill. He had nearly finished and a few of the others were finished when Danny returned, Tony Stark talking to him excitedly as they approached the table. “How’d it go?” Romanov asked, looking at Danny closely.

Stark grinned. “Fabulous! We’re about as far as we can get right now, though. We’ll probably go back tomorrow because I’m starving and Danny here has slept about four hours in the last two days,” he said, sliding into the chair beside Pepper.

Danny walked over and sat beside Ethan, who immediately grabbed his hand. He even looked exhausted, though he perked up some when he looked at the plate Ethan had already filled for him. “Oh Stiles cooked?” he asked, looking up at Stiles with a smile. “Thanks,” he said and Stiles shrugged.

“It wasn’t just me. Clint and Dr. Banner helped.” He looked at Derek, who was across from him studying him, and raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Derek shrugged. “Didn’t know you cooked for anyone besides your dad.”

Scott grinned. “Dude, Stiles cooks for everybody. He has this whole maternal thing. He always packs food for the drives for away games during Lacrosse season.”

Jackson raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? I don’t remember that.”

Stiles smirked. “Because I only cook for people I like, not assholes. So basically Danny and Scott,” he joked. He looked down at his plate, messing around with a leftover bean absently. “No reason to prove you’re not useless to people who won’t care,” he added.

Jackson sneered. “Of course you’re not useless. You were always a great guy to take one for the team when Coach wanted us to practice tackles.”

Derek glared at Jackson. “Stop being an asshole, Whitmore.”

Lydia waved a hand. “For the record, Jackson, Stiles is the reason you’re alive, in case you don’t remember. You should be grateful.”

Stiles made a face. “I’m the reason _most_ of you are alive, but hey, it’s cool. I’m used to not getting the credit. If I saved your asses for praise I’d have given up a long time ago.” He smiled at the amused look Phil shot him. “What? I may be the weak little human of the group, but I’m totally the secret badass,” he joked.

“Actually,” Clint spoke up. “That’s kinda funny, cause that’s pretty much Phil. I mean, he’s a serious badass,” he said, and Phil looked at him with an exasperated look. “What?! You are.”

Dr. Banner smiled. “He’s not wrong. I mean, you’re the one who is most easily hurt and you’re probably the most dependable.”

Pepper hummed in agreement. “Phil, you have _actually_ died to save the day before. That’s very courageous.”

“Stupid as hell,” Tony added, waving his glass. “But absolutely fearless as well.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow, smiling an impressed smile as he looked at Phil. “Really? Huh, maybe we’re more alike than I realized.”

Derek huffed, giving Stiles an indecipherable look. “Stupidly fearless? Yep, that’s you alright.”

Stiles’s smile slipped and he fixed Derek with an icy look. “And how many times has my ‘stupidly fearless’ side saved your ass, Derek?” he asked in a clipped tone. “I held you up treading water for _two hours_ to keep you from drowning, and I was _tortured_ because I purposefully mouthed off to save _your_ betas from another round of it and none of you even _looked for me_ ,” he stressed, jaw clenched. “I may be stupid, but I’m not fearless, I just do what I have to because I can’t imagine letting someone else die when I could help them, even if they skip town without so much as a ‘see you later’, nonetheless a ‘thanks’.”

Derek growled – more human in frustration than angry werewolf but frightening either way – and stood up, stalking away silently without a reply. Phil raised an eyebrow at Stiles, who just flushed and looked down at his lap, avoiding the awkward silence and mixed emotions on everyone’s faces. The silence stretched until Scott jumped in, forcing a smile. “So, Mr. Coulson, seeing as you’re not still dead, were you ritually sacrificed like Stiles was when we died?” he asked, and Stiles groaned, putting his head in his hands.

“Scott, so not the topic to end an awkward silence with, buddy,” he said. He picked his head up, fully intending to apologize for Scott, only to see a shocked Phil staring at him. “Um… why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.

Phil just stared. “What does he mean ‘when we died’?” he asked.

Stiles cringed. “Oh yeah, that. Um, never tell my dad I technically died?” he asked and Phil glared “Okay, so long story short! My dad, Allison’s dad, and Scott’s mom were going to be the final sacrifices for this evil druid chick who was seriously psycho so she could get super powers or whatever, right? Well, we couldn’t find where she was keeping them so in order to find the place, Allison, Scott, and I-“ He gestured to them down the table. “Had to be ritually sacrificed sort of in their place.” 

“How are you all alive then?” Clint asked, looking morbidly curious and ashamed of that.

Allison smiled tightly. “We were only technically dead.”

Isaac cringed. “You sure seemed dead,” he said, and Lydia nodded, shuddering at the memory.

Stiles nodded. “We were put in ice baths and Isaac, Lydia, and Scott’s boss, Dr. Deaton, had to hold us under until we were basically on the verge of death. It seemed like it was over really fast, but we didn’t wake up for a long time.”

“Sixteen hours,” Lydia said, shaking her head. “We thought you were all dead,” she said honestly. 

Tony made a disgusted sound. “Fucking magic. I hate magic.”

Lydia rolled her eyes. “Join the club.”

Stiles shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m human so maybe it’s that, but I’m getting the hang of it,” he said, and Clint and Natasha both gave him an almost identical set of soul-burning stares. “What? I have to have something to protect myself. I’m a skinny seventeen year old with sarcasm and a baseball bat,” he said, rolling his eyes.

Bruce’s eyes flickered to the other kids. “What about the other humans?” he asked. “Why don’t they like it?”

Stiles grinned. “Lydia isn’t human really, she’s a banshee so magic means her finding dead bodies,” he started and Lydia nodded, making a face. “Plus, you know, she’s a certified genius with an insanely high IQ.” She nodded. “And then Danny’s boyfriend is an alpha so even other supernatural things know not to mess with Danny. And he’s a tech genius. Also, holy muscles he looks like he’d punch you and your head fly off,” he said and Danny rolled his eyes at Stiles’s exaggeration. “Then Allison has full tracking, hand to hand combat, tactical, and military grades weapons training, not to mention she’s a nationally ranked archer.” He shook his head. “And on top of that, her dad is even better than she is at everything besides archery.” He held up his hands. “I’m not a good fighter, I don’t have any training, I don’t have claws and fangs, and I end up in life and death situations all the time. Magic is a good way to even my chances.”

Clint grinned. “Dude, Phil, other than the magic part, your nephew rocks,” he said earnestly, then held out his hand for a fist bump from Stiles. “Dude, you hang in there with all that crap and you haven’t ran way yet? Totally badass.”

Stiles smiled, but shrugged. “It’s not about being a badass, it’s about helping people. I’ve risked my life for people who want me dead before. I just can’t let people die. If I can help it, I have to.” 

Phil gave him a sad smile, thinking about his sister and how she always did have a big heart. However, when he patted Stiles’s shoulder he said, “Probably a side-effect of your dad being the Sheriff. You’ve been raised to want to help protect people.”

Lydia nodded. “Stiles and his dad are definitely alike.”

Allison laughed. “Oh my God, his dad even has the same sarcasm going on. It’s great! When we rescued them, they started making smartass remarks about my dad together.”

Stiles rolled his eyes and bit back a snicker. “Hey, your dad had a sonic transmitter in his ass, okay? How the hell could we _resist_ sarcastic jokes?!”

Tony waved two fingers at Stiles and Phil. “Speaking of sarcasm, is your dad Phil’s brother? Cause Agent’s a sassy fella, too.”

Stiles bit his lip and looked down. Phil smiled tightly and shook his head. “His mother, Claudia, was my sister.”

Tony actually cringed slightly, then threw an apologetic little waved of his hand. “Ah, sorry about that.”

Stiles shrugged, sending him a small, sad smile. “Hey, it’s nothing recent or anything. She died when I was eight, so it’s alright, man.” He looked at the hall almost longingly and Phil put a hand on Stiles’s shoulder. 

“What do you say we call it a night, huh?” he asked, and Stiles gave him a grateful look and nodded. Phil stood. “Mr. Stark, the kids?”

Tony stood up. “Yeah, so, bedrooms! You’re in luck! I practically run a half-way house for wayward superheroes and spies, so we’ve got tons of suites! Just pair off or whatever. Girls and girls and boys and boys!”

“Two of us are a gay couple and Stiles is bisexual, is it really necessary to separate us by gender?” Danny asked in a flat tone.

Tony snorted. “C’mon, that’s just how you do it with groups of kids, right?”

Lydia smirked. “Pretty sure Danny and Ethan got together in a room-sharing situation,” she said and Danny flipped her off while Ethan blushed and looked away.

“Bite me, Lydia.”

“Sadly, I don’t have fangs, and if I did your boyfriend would be jealous-“

“Okay, okay,” Phil interrupted. “Just… pick a room buddy,” he said, and Tony mouthed ‘room buddy?’ at him from across the room, earning an eye roll.

Lydia and Allison exchanged a look, then pointed at each other. Stiles, Isaac, and Scott looked at one another and hesitated. Aiden looked to Ethan, who just shrugged and slid his arm into Danny’s. “Ethan, that’s so mean,” Aiden whined, looking at the four remaining boys. “Okay, so-“

Scott put a finger on his nose. “Not Jackson!” he said quickly and Stiles and Isaac followed while Aiden just looked at them like they were insane.

Stiles threw up a fist. “HA! Aiden and Jackson. Wooo!”

Jackson rolled his eyes. “Don’t get too excited, one of you three has to room with Derek.”

Stiles shook his head sternly. “We can all three share a bed, screw that,” he said, walking over to sling an arm over each of Scott and Isaac’s shoulders. “I’m sure as hell not sharing with Derek, Isaac definitely isn’t gonna share a bed with his former-alpha-who-he-abandoned, and Scott… he just doesn’t like him.”

“Deal,” Isaac said, and Scott looked at them both, then shrugged.

Phil sighed. “Teenagers,” he muttered under his breath, then turned to nod to the elevator. “Come on, we’ll go get you guys somewhere to sleep.”

~

Phil was nearly ready for bed – only a few more emails to read and reply to – when there was a knock at his door. He sighed and stood up, rolling his aching shoulder as he went to the door. He opened it and wasn’t at all surprised when Clint was leaning against the door. “Barton,” he greeted and Clint grinned.

“So. Exciting day, huh, Boss?” he asked, walking past Phil when Phil held the door open. Clint walked over and plopped on Phil’s couch. “Who would’ve guessed THIS all happened?” he asked, and Phil chuckled, settling in his chair, taking up his tablet again. “So your nephew is in with _werewolves_ and those are a thing that exists.”

Phil nodded. “It would seem so.”

Clint smirked. “What’s going on with Stiles and that big dude, huh? Seems like there’s something going on there,” he said with an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle.

Phil glared at him. “Clint, that’s entirely inappropriate,” he said, then huffed. “And there better not be something there, that man is too old for Stiles.”

“Hey, that’s not fair, he’s not _that_ much older,” Clint said, grinning impishly. “I like my men older, why shouldn’t Stiles-“

“Stiles is seventeen years old and you’re thirty-six. Big difference,” Phil argued. “A seventeen year old boy has no business being involved with a man in his mid-twenties. Especially not a werewolf in his mid-twenties.”

Clint hummed, arms crossed behind his head. “Does it freak you out? Knowing there are things that aren’t extraterrestrial that are terrifying?”

Phil chuckled weakly. “Clint, the humans on this planet are more terrifying to me than the supernatural.” He looked up. “Werewolves have disputes that wipe out a few families. Terrorists and warlords wipe out entire regions. Gods and extraterrestrials wipe out planets and realms.” He tilted his head. “The supernatural are like gangs. It’s terrible they kill people, but it’s beneath our work. Stiles’s year was horrible and, as his uncle, I feel so bad for him and his friends. But as Agent Coulson, they’re just another small town with a few deaths. Nothing near my pay grade.”

Clint shook his head. “But aren’t werewolves something we should be worried about? How long before terrorist groups are made up of them? Assassins who are those druid things Stiles talked about?” he asked, eyes flickering to Phil. “Phil?”

Phil shrugged. “Until that becomes a problem, I don’t think about it.” He looked at Clint. “Think about what they said about Allison and her family. Werewolf hunters. They exist already. SHIELD doesn’t need to worry about rogue werewolves because hunters do it-“

“But hunters kill innocent people too, apparently,” Clint argued. “Shouldn’t that be a SHIELD issue? Paramilitary groups committing genocide?”

Phil’s jaw tightened. “Yes, in all rights it should be. However, it’s not, Clint. I know it bugs you to stop thinking about some things, but this time you should just let it go.” He nodded stiffly. “It’s getting pretty late, wouldn’t you say, Agent?” he asked, and Clint gave him a small pout, then sighed dramatically.

“But Boss! I was just getting comfy!” he whined, dragging himself into a sitting position. “Sure we’re good?” he asked, and Phil inclined his head politely. “Alright,” Clint said, drawing to his feet. He walked to the door and stopped, turning back once more. “I just…” He trailed off, then forced a smile. “Goodnight, Sir.”

Phil nodded. “Goodnight, Clint.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, more soon!


End file.
